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“Over My Shoulder…” By Steve Kehoe

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"Over My Shoulder..."


Steve H Kehoe


Reasons why athletes cannot hold regular jobs:

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson, on being a role model: "I want all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."

Torrin Park, receiver for U of Houston: "Coach treats us like men. Lets us wear earrings"

Famed football player and commentator Joe Theisman once said: "No one in football should be called 'genius'...A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein"

Senior guard at U of Pittsburg: "I set a goal to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes"

Bill Peterson, coach at FSU: "You guys line up alphabetically by height. You guys in groups of three pair up, and then line up in a circle". (Do you suppose he was testing their IQ's or ability to follow directions?)

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks wing man: "I keep a photo of myself above my locker in case I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes!" (Now, really!)

Chuck Nevitt, explaing to late Coach Valvano why he appeared nervous at basketball practice: "My sister is expecting, and I don't know if I am gonna be an uncle or aunt".


Player responding to Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz as to whether he was apathetic or just plain ignorant: "Really, Coach, I don't know and don't care!"

Baskeball coach Shelby Metcalf at Texas A&M, trying to explain how a player of his got 4 "F" grades and one "D": "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on just one subject".

Oiler coach Bum Philips when asked by announcer Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips: "Becauses she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye". (I understand he got out of the hospital in just under a week....)

You guys have any more?

Steve H Kehoe

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