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Holly Lake Effect

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Things we learn or how we acquire wisdom--

If it's on the floor and black, step on it.

Don't believe the refrigerator door will always close on its own.

If it's broken don't think Superglue or Wonder Welder or Scotch tape will fix it.

Don't believe that instant coffee and regular coffee are one and the same.

Don't start out one morning in the garden with a pair of shears unless you want to be accused of something like "myrtle murder".

Defend your right to paint anything any color.

If you put something aside for a rainy day, get out your umbrella. People can be fooled so why not the elements?

Be comfortable buying or doing silly things. Understand that it's okay to look silly and equally okay to act silly.

When the dust on your furniture is more than a half inch thick, it's time to invite overnight guests or give a dinner party.

Don't try to arrange your books alphabetically unless you have more than six.

Don't tell anybody you've read a novel unless you remember at least two of the main characters and why the butler didn't do it.

Practice smiling so you're prepared to accept gifts you don't want, graciously.

Fell free to throw old dishes (not genuine antiques) against a tree or solid substance when you're angry. It will make you feel good for a minute or two.

Invent interesting stories about yourself that no one can check on.

Understand that you can't underestimate the intelligence of a three year old. He or she has probably just finished reading the Wall Street Journal.

Learn to give your political opinions a source-preferably somebody who lives more than one state away and has no phone.

If you think you're smart you probably are. If you don't think you're smart you probably are.

If you take one or more of these caveats seriously during the coming year, you will find yourself receiving more phone calls and e-mails, getting more letters, being considered for public office, doing things you've never done before like eating spicy foods or staying up past one o'clock (in the morning). You will feel good about yourself and consequently will hear people calling you either a "snob" or a "lost cause". Pay no attention. Just keep on being happy.