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“Over My Shoulder”

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"Over My Shoulder"
by Steve H Kehoe One by one they disappear from the scene. I'm talking about the icons of youth. Today the subject is "favorite candy bars". Yeah, I know-there are more important things to write about-but sometimes the measure of our civilization is......well....measured...by the things we hold most dear. And sometimes, by the things we take for granted. Like going to the corner mom & pop grocery store and plunking down a few shekels to buy our favorite candy bar, trusting that, just as the sun once more "came up" in the East, and just as "father knows best", so likewise our sugary treasure will be waiting for us, just moments away, behind the glass counter, to be dispensed by a kindly old lady or gent adorned with white apron and butcher's cap. Well, sports fans, that scene has all but totally disappeared from the national venue Even in the backwaters and backwoods of towns like Athens, Texas, or Cut-‘n-Shoot, I double-dog dare ya to find a friendly, mom & pop-owned emporium like the one I just described. They've gone bye-bye, crushed without mercy by the likes of first the super market (can you say "Brookshires"?) and then by that true American phenomenon, a living testimony to one man's genius for marketing-I'm talkin' ‘bout Sam Walton from Bentonville, Arkansas.
Herewith a partial list of the favorites that have disappeared, never again even to appear on Wal-Mart's or Target's self-serve shelves (wow! Say that three times fast!). Here goes-Abba Zabba Chocolate, Bit-O-Licorice, Brach's Vanilla Cremes, Blackjack gum, Beeman's gum (the star of the movie "The Right Stuff", Black Cow sucker, Ginger-flavored Altoids, Fan Tan Gum, Mallo Cups (although if you write to the Seifert candy company in Merriam, Kansas, they will not only sell you some of their beloved ValOMilks over the internet, but also a T-shirt!), Mars Bars, Switzer's Licorice (My "B.W.'s" absolute favorite), Seven-Up Candy Bars, Walnut Crush, Cherry Mash, Whiz Bar, Yoo-Hoo Chocolate Bar, Milky Way Lite (are you kidding me? Sounds like an Oxymoron to this writer!), PayDay Chocolate, Powerhouse, Slo Poke Lollys, Sugar Mama, (I'd like to meet her!), Regal Crown Sours, Necco Wafers, and my all time favorite-the one that prompted me to write this article, only to find that my belief in its continuance was well-placed...."Forever Yours", the chocolate and caramel cousin of Milky Way and Snickers. Well, thank the powers that be! I did find out that "Forever Yours" has not totally fled the scene: Rather, it has morphed into virtually the same chocolate and caramel concoction, now named: "Milky Way Midnight"!! So far, though, my quest for this childhood (and even adulthood) chocolate concoction has been barren....Brookshires doesn't have it, and, although I intend to institute a full pat-down search at Wal-Mart if it comes to that, I suspect that Sam's stores don't carry it either.
My choices-and yours-assuming you love the taste and aroma of "Forever Yours" as much as I do (with me, it borders on obsession) is either to find another fave, or assault the stores with your written requests to stock and sell the newly named "Forever Yours" even under its new persona. Hey, what's in a name, anyway? It's the bar itself that has the appeal....although I must admit, that changing the name of a favorite item would be as ludicrous as re-naming the Mona Lisa. Well, not quite, but you get the idea! Lesson for today to candy manufacturers and retail outlets: Never overlook of underestimate the passion we obsessive candy lovers have for their favorite calorie-laden pick-me-up!!
So go Ye forth, fellow candy consumers, and assert by placards, loud voices, survey sheets, managers' requested items lists, whatever legal means are at your disposal, and let us collectively right this considerable wrong by getting at least some of our favorites re-positioned once more upon the shelves, where eager hands will snatch them and literally dash to the checkout lanes! Just don't get in my way if I am rushing up with an armful of "Milky Way Midnight"s!! Also, be afraid-be very afraid; For if the candy manufacturers and grocery barons can take these childhood icons from us, what's to stop them? Q'elle horreur! What childhood treasures will they strike next? Candy Lovers, Arise!!, lest, bit-o-honey by bit, our rights are taken away and we become a nation of sobbing sheep, longing for the return of our confectionery creature comforts! Stop this erosion of our candy rights! Let the merchants and manufacturers know your true feelings of candy loyalty! Make them tremble in fear during their board room meetings, decrying their lost market shares! Put an end to this gross injustice, or be prepared to ever defend your rights against those who would gradually strip us of our candy pleasures and make us slaves to inferior treats! If they can get away with this travesty, what's next? Will they stop producing "Cookies & Cream" or "Banana Nut Royale" ice cream flavors? Now is the time to take action! There is no room for compromise, nor lethargy, nor apathy! Strike now before this crisis spreads! Candy Lovers of the World, Unite!
Steve H Kehoe
"Forever Yours"
p.s.: I found "Milky Way Midnight" in copious quantity just the other day! Surprisingly, it was at Dollar General in Hawkins! Neither Brookshires nor Wal-Mart had them!