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A Texas Two Step

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It's a wacky world
By SHEILAH PEPPER
The Gazette Staff
Sometimes, it's necessary to escape the constant flow of bad news, if just for a while. I suppose the cable news networks feel the same way, because they are adding in some wacky, more humorous items to lighten our load.
I liked the story about the woman who called 911 looking for a date. Happily for her, she got hold of a dispatcher who must have had time to deal with her, plus a sense of humor. But anyone who is thinking about calling 911 looking for love should think again. You could face some sort of charge related to using a critical public service for a trivial purpose. But lady, nice try anyway.
Then there's the story of the robber with an enhanced sense of entitlement. He held up a burger joint and took away $589. He later phoned the burger place up and complained. He said next time, there had better be more cash on hand. The last story like this involved a woman who called 911 to complain that McDonald's has run out of her favorite Chicken McNuggets. Can you say Entitlement Nation!
But even the wackiest member of the general public can't beat out the government when it comes to sheer craziness. The "stimulus" is a never-ending fountain of wild schemes and silly spending.
There's $71,623 to test the effects of cocaine on monkeys. Now we are chumps for chimps. Where is PETA when you need them? Then there's a cool $1,000,000 to study exotic ants in the Southwest Indian Ocean Islands and East Africa.
An intriguing item - apparently BP will receive no less than $300 million to develop clean energy. I thought they were a petroleum company ...
But the Ruling Class is doing fine. Michelle Obama traveled to Spain, and according to some reports, booked as many as 60 rooms in a very pricey hotel with a private beach. She must have a larger entourage than the average sports celebrity.
Chelsea Clinton got married. The reported price tag estimates are about $3 million. Catering was estimated at $750,000 which will buy a lot of finger sandwiches and lobster puffs. The event took place at the very elegant Astor Court which was built by John Jacob Astor IV and is currently owned by wealthy Clinton donors.
The event also featured $15,000 worth of portable latrines. No, these are not the Porta- Potties you see on construction sites. These have real porcelain amenities.
The wedding cake cost a mere $7,000.
Earlier this summer, the Obama's took a mini-vacation at Bar Harbor in Maine. First Dog Bo, accompanied by a handler, flew in on his own Gulfstream jet. Seems there wasn't enough room for him on the president's aircraft. I think the dog spends a lot of time with handlers. I have memories of George W. carrying his black Scotty on board with him many times heading to the ranch at Crawford. Poor Bo. I suspect he is just so much window dressing. My dog, Chipper, agrees.
Right now, the Obamas are just completing a week's vacation at Martha's Vineyard, a holiday favorite with the East Coast elites. The "farm" they are renting is rumored to cost almost $50,000 for the week. Unfortunately, the water at the nearby beach has been found to be contaminated with fecal matter. Well, nothing's perfect.
In the words of an ancient member of the ruling class, "Let them eat cake."
Copyright©2010SheilahPepper