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Americans borrow trouble-we're about to prove that's true
It's not that they like trouble; it's just that they want to be prepared.
If you've ever looked at the sky and said: "It's sunny today but it will probably rain tomorrow because we've planned a picnic", you're a trouble borrower.
Other signs of being a trouble borrower:
*Things are going so good-it must mean trouble ahead.
*Don't tell me I look good-it'll make me feel bad.
*The washing machine is running great but that means it's getting ready to crash.(substitute other appliances here)
*The car hasn't given us any trouble for a long time-that means we'd better not go on a long trip without lots of tools and enough provisions to keep us alive while we're doing repairs.
*Two or three dead leaves on a big old oak is a sure sign it's about to die.
*Brown spots on the grass are a sign of an incurable disease, something caused from a virus nobody has figured out how to control. Too bad it was so expensive.
*If you cough when it's a hundred degrees and sunny it means you are allergic to airborne pollen and there's no known cure.
*If you cough in the winter when its minus 10 degrees that means you are coming down with a serious virus that nothing over the counter can cure. ("Way back when" our mamas treated such ailments with hot tea, a bucket of hot water for foot soaking -cold feet used to be considered the source of all evil. In those days hot tea laced with bourbon and lemon juice was the medicine of choice-no wonder some of us got sick so often.
And don't forget these:
*If your cell phone hasn't rung in the last thirty minutes it means nobody likes you.
*When you have a conversation like this it means things are going to get worse. She:The roof hasn't leaked yet but it's just about reached the limit of its life according to the warranty so it obviously needs to be replaced. He: Looks ok to me. She: It's got lots of little bitty curls at the edges, that's a bad sign. He starts to say "what if we ignore it?" but he knows that the moment he says that there will be a huge rainstorm. He settles for something more soothing: "Let's do it next month." She: By that time there'll be a huge rainstorm with golf ball sized hail that will rip the shingles to shreds flooding the attic and then the upstairs bedrooms and before you know it water will be waist deep in our livingroom. (This conversation, of course, will take place in the middle of a long hot summer when there hasn't been a cloud in the sky for thirty days and the thermometer is running at 102).
Better safe than sorry takes all the adventure out of life. Often it's the negative thinkers that are doing the smiling:
*The air conditioning unit is making a funny noise, honey, and I'll bet you it's gonna stop right in the middle of the big party we've been planning for months.
*The stove is acting funny. (That's one day before the big party mentioned above).
*The world is getting too crowded. Can't find a parking place at the Mall.
*The world is getting too crowded. Can't fine a parking place at our favorite restaurant after 5 p.m.
*There's nothing on TV. Translation: Nothing funny, non-political, or upholding family values.
*The TV is not working. Translation: Well are you going to do something about it or just sit there reading that book?
The rule of thumb here is don't borrow, beg, buy or steal trouble.-if is anywhere around it will find you and that's the time to figure out what to do about it. Meanwhile, try to trust everything that operates on a switch and find out in which file cabinet your warranties are.